How
Visualization and Affirmations Can Backfire
As
we think we feel, as we feel we ooze, as we ooze we influence.
by
Michael Angier
I
LIKE TO HAVE A PERSONAL SLOGAN for each year. This year, it was
"Feeling fine in '99." Based upon my experiences and my
learning over the past year, I now know - feeling is key!
The
practice of affirmation and visualization is a common principle
in success teachings. I believe in and practice both. However -
and this is big - I've always wondered why it works sometimes and
not others. If it's Universal Law, then it's supposed to work all
the time. If it doesn't work consistently, then we must be doing
something wrong.
It's
become clear to me why this process has produced seemingly unreliable
results. If we affirm or visualize something and our first thoughts
are of reasons why we can't/shouldn't/might not get it, we're reversing
the process. We're focusing on what we don't want. If our predominant
thoughts are of lack or fear, then the very process of picturing
our desires is creating just the opposite. We're creating alright,
but we're creating by default rather than with deliberate purpose.
When our feelings are in conflict with our thoughts, the feelings
usually win.
I've
always thought of myself as a big thinker, although I'm often confronted
with how much bigger it can be. Nonetheless, there have been many
times that I've taken on projects or set off on goals that were
beyond my true beliefs and expectations. I assumed that if I just
thought positively and worked hard I could make it happen. Sometimes
I did, but too often what I was thinking (I can do it) and what
I was visualizing (I have it) were overshadowed by my fear of failing
(I don't have it and I can't do it). String several failures together
and you start to expect failure as the norm. You feel like a failure.
I
believe that thought precedes feeling. As we think we feel. We have
control over our feelings; it's just not easy. Sometimes we need
to think big but act in smaller ways until our beliefs and our feelings
catch up with our thinking.
Let's
say you want to become good at public speaking (by the way, all
speaking is public unless you're talking to yourself). You begin
to picture yourself making a presentation at your company's annual
meeting. As you do so, you feel fear. Your palms start to sweat,
your heart pounds. Is this a good visualization? I think not. I
believe that the Universe will respond more to your strong emotion
than your well-intended thought process. As you affirm yourself
unafraid, your body is scared to death.
In
this case, it would be better to visualize yourself giving a talk
to a smaller group of people. In addition, you'll want to take some
real-life actions and develop skills that will position you to visualize
and affirm with true confidence - with strong and positive emotions.
This way, your process will create and attract your intention rather
than scare it away.
I
just bought a new car. I was going to put my old car through another
Vermont winter and get a Saab 9000 in the spring. And I knew that
it would happen. I pictured myself driving it with the sun streaming
through the sunroof. I could smell the leather upholstery and hear
the music from the sound system. There was no doubt I was going
to have this car. I could feel it.
Then,
last week, I decided to look in the newspaper just to check out
prices. I saw what looked like a good deal. I made one call and
looked at only one car. It was everything I wanted and more. The
owner accepted my offer (well below loan value) and within two days
I had sold my old car for more than I paid for it two years prior.
I sold it to the first and only person to look at it.
You
might not think this is a big deal. But it's only an example of
dozens of wins and scores of serendipities that have made 1999 a
very good year. The key for me has been in aligning my feelings
with my thinking.
I
now see visualization and affirmation as tools that invoke the feeling
which creates my intention. My confidence in my ability to deliberately
create my life has skyrocketed.
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