Q. My question is at once both simple and complex. Is it ethically okay for a woman with BPD to have children? I have nearly completed a DBT group and am about a year into recovery. My husband and I had been planning to begin trying to become pregnant when I was diagnosed with BPD. Now, even though I have made substantial strides in emotion regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal skills, my husband is no longer willing to have a child with me. He fears I will fall back into borderline style behaviors and believes this will be detrimental to our child. Is there any research on Borderlines and parenting? I know many women with BPD who are quite successful in their tasks of parenting, and several of them believe their children have enabled them to increase their levels of patience and tolerance. I'm seeking any information you have on this issue. Thank you for your response.
A. I do not know much about long or short-term studies on parenting and BPD. Since you are already plugged into a treatment (DBT), it would be prudent to discuss the parenting issues with your clinician that knows you best. I know a number of folks with severe BPD that are wonderful parents. The ability to parent will likely be more a reflection of how you are currently functioning and have the potential to function than just having BPD. Ask your therapist. As always, you should discuss medication use with your doctor, too. The medications help a lot, and should have little to no impact on the pregnancy or fetus from the data available.
