Q. Recently my wife had a meltdown and started with a new psychotherapist. She felt it was all my fault. Demanded I see the Psych. separate from her. I did. Within a few weeks, the psych found me fine, and instead of little tips on improving our marriage, we started working on getting my wife help.
The therapist claimed that legally she could not discuss my wife's diagnosis with me, but she gave me several printouts from another BPD site and suggested I'd find these interesting and see if they 'fit' my wife.
They did, to a T, and everything I read at there and Here *is* my wife, and my life. Argh. I didn't know there were others.
Anyway, my wife filed for divorce recently, using many false accusations as Declarations.
We have a 3 year old girl.
Question 1: Do BPD's raise BPD's? Will my daughter become BPD? (We have joint custody at the moment, but my wife is already breaking the agreements.)
Question 2: The big stumbling block in getting her help is her own realization that she has BPD. The psychotherapist that she herself found to 'help me (her husband) get better' (because it wasn't her fault at all, she claimed, indicated that BPD was her conclusion. However, my wife is also being prescribed several medications by a psychiatric group that also has her signed up for "intensive therapy", outpatient, and psychotherapy, as well as meds. They diagnose her only with Dysthymia. I believe they are simply milking a 'cash cow'. I truly hope they are reputable and will diagnose her accurately with BPD. Is there any way to assist this?
Question 3: I am asking for the MMPI for both of us to determine custody. Will BPD show up in the MMPI? My wife is severely BPD, exhibiting all the symptoms all the time. She was the victim of sexual abuse as a child, and denial by her mother.
Thank you so much! I hope this is not too long. I am sure that other spouses of BPD's will find the answers welcome.
A. 1. BPD is probably genetic, so there is a chance your child could have it. It is prudent to get a child in an environment where they are well cared for. Just having BPD does not make you a bad mother or father.
2. On number two there is not a lot to be done. One would hope the doctors are honest and sincere, and trying to help. If your wife will allow it, you may want to go in to discuss the case to this group of clinicians.
3. The MMPI is not a diagnostic tool for BPD, but will show the existence of character flaws if the MMPI is answered honestly by your spouse.
