Bipolar Disorder Triggers

I wanted to briefly make some comments about this subject on a personal level. Something I have learned for myself. I am still in the process of learning about my own bipolar disorder it seems all the time. The classic thing is just as soon as I get comfortable it taps me on the shoulder saying "I'm still HERE!" LOL

I was just VERY recently triggered by my daughter graduating from college next month and joining the army as an MP officer. Her goal is to become an FBI agent. She talks all the time about putting her life on the line for "serving her country."

My brother who passed on many, many years ago was in the Navy and I watched my own parents lose their son so I know on a very real level that one can lose their child. 

So bing, bang, bong, full blown mixed episode. I'm crying and I don't know why because it is way out of proportion and as always I never figure I'm in a mixed episode until way later. My emotions are up, down and all around. Then comes the full blown mania that always feels like someone is beating drums way far away and as the mania worsens the drums get closer and closer. 

It takes a LOT of energy for your body to experience mania and though my body is thoroughly exhausted, the mania "doesn't care," does it? It just keeps on like an "ever ready battery." 

This is the time I warn my husband to turn down the lights and the sounds as I may go over that edge into hell. The hell where things can get broken, my voice gets very loud and my husband's eyes show fear. 

In the past I have advised families to always put their safety first. If you are a family member and you are not safe, LEAVE and call 911 when you reach safety. 

In our situation I look very scary but it never occurs to me to hurt a human being. If your bipolar loved one is out of control and you are safe, call 911 if they are severely out of control or the crisis center if you just need help. 

As I said, turn the light LOW, sounds OFF. Talk softly to your loved one. 

It is helpful to have a plan of action ahead of time. That could be to take a particular medication that is okayed by the prescriber, or for the family to call 911. 

Many times I see people with bipolar disorder and the borderline personality disorder experience an incredible amount of guilt from A to Z.

I am a human being with feelings, thank heavens. I wouldn't have it any other way. Do we want to stop ourselves from experiencing love towards other people? When we experience love we open ourselves up to be vulnerable. To fully experience the best that life has to offer, sadness and stress comes with that.

So what? I got triggered. I got scared because I love my daughter so deeply and I experienced depression and mania and it was uncomfortable, etc. But I just had a wonderful phone conversation with her today and we laughed and shared and later I shopped for additional things for her birthday and picked out her card. What a joyful day I had in the midst of some mild depressive symptoms!

Your self talk will determine your attitude. Be careful what you say to yourself.

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