Q. My daughter (35) has had a mild form of childhood perception. She is the first child and or son (32), both appeared to have a fairly normal childhood. My wife and I centered our jobs and life around both children. Our daughter has had several health issues in her life that has altered her personality. First, was a heat stroke when she was 18. Soon after that she developed a thyroid problem and was on medication. Next she became obsessed with tanning, and use a tanning bed for 6 years. She then got involved with drugs, we do not know what type or what she used because she was in an apartment. Her personality kept changing, she became more aggressive, reading hidden demeaning in to remarks by people or events. In 1998-1999 she was on Phen Fen off and on over a year. She had plans to divorce her husband and have her long time friend divorce her husband and get an apartment. Then in Oct. 1999 she was going to get a divorce but back off from that. Her only child has told us that he cannot put a joke on her because "She will go Crazy." From April 1999 until today her anger towards her brother whom she consistently attacks with insults, remarks and charter has increased daily. Telling her to mind her own business then centered her attacks on me and I have been accused of verbal abuse during her childhood. When her mother attempted to help her, she was then orally attacked, accusing her of loyalty and trustworthiness. She told her that our phone numbers were phone blocked and did not want any of the family to contact her. The major change came with the intake of the Phen Fen. We are concerned for our grandsons well being. She is going to a counselor, we offered to talk to him, but she told us to get our own and would not give us his name. We are trying to get her to visit a psychotherapist. Just the mention of getting real help will send her into a rage. What can we do to provide solution or treatment for her?

 

  A. You have a very tough situation. I am not a lawyer, nor do I know what state you live in, let alone your state's laws. If you feel, however, that her son is at risk, you can have social services intervene and interview her and the boy. They may or may not agree with you. If they agree he is at risk, you can be the guardians. If they do not agree she is a risk to harm the boy or cannot care for him, than you risk alienating her totally. Most courts need some fairly hard data to show enough reason to remove a child from his or her parent. If your daughter has a character disorder or even drug abuse without any direct harm to the boy, your odds of winning are not good. You should call up a lawyer that specializes in this. Probate court will give you some names. Another good source is to call up the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill to get a good lawyer in your area. I really doubt the Phen-fen caused the problem. With all the preexistent problems she had, her illness probably just got worse, as biological illnesses are wont to do.