Q. I have just finished a 3 year relationship with a woman who has BPD and NVLD (Nonverbal Learning Disabilities). I read an excellent article by Dr. Wendy Heller on NVLD and took a copy of it to the therapist who was then helping my girl friend. He had never heard of this condition but when I explained how disruptive this type of behavior is he began to see my girlfriend in a different light. His first comment was "This may be a bit much for me".
Because the relationship was very unstable my friends of many years were reluctant to visit. I have tried to get her to do more sensible and concentrated analysis of her thought processes but to no avail. She is on Lorien but often threatened to stop taking that. Her son and daughter both exhibit the same symptoms to greater or lesser degrees and are extremely difficult to get to focus on anything.
Her sister has histrionic personality disorder, even the slight stiffness in the hands, theatrical voice and attention seeking behavior. Prancing around in the department store while trying on clothes with next to nothing on and a dinner at the local restaurant always involves a complete change in the table position and seating. Her husband left her after she suddenly decided to go out with a 70 year old because he offered he better sex. She then dressed in very short skirts and behaved very badly.
What has always puzzled me is that the three women can all see the problems in each other but won't accept that they are the same. I had to get out for the sake of my own health. By the way they all have very good looks, exceptional facial symmetry, my girl friend very like Lady Di. I investigated many sites on the Web and the problems seem to come from around the Basal ganglia and Amygdala "The Ring of Fire" your comments would be welcomed. Is it possible that the Human Genome Project will be able to identify the defective genes?
A. I do not know what to tell you, as this is something (the NVLD) I would view as part of the personality features/personality disorder, and not a separate entity. We all see the world a certain way. If we do not like what we are thinking or the outcome of our behaviors flowing from our thoughts, we change. If we do not mind our thoughts or consequences, or even like them, we do not change.
My guess is the NVLD you refer to is part of the way they think, and part of their personality disorders. People only change those things they dislike, and it does not sound as if any of the people you mention in your letter are bothered by their behaviors.
