BPD Email Volunteers

Disclaimer

Self-help is useful, but it is not a substitute for professional assistance. Emotional and behavioral problems can be debilitating and dangerous. Please seek professional help: 

if you have thoughts of killing yourself or harming others;
if you feel depressed, anxious, guilty or down on yourself frequently; if you are abusing substances; if your performance or interpersonal relationships are impaired.

"Our purpose is to give information.. We can not, and are not, assuming the role of your physician or therapist in any of our replies. 

We also do not know your other medical problems and psychiatric diagnoses, which usually have a dramatic effect on medication (and other treatment) recommendations. You must make a medical and treatment plan with your physician and therapist(s).

Volunteers

Feel free to write any of the volunteers below.

1) Buck Bannister 

I was diagnosed with BPD (borderline) in 1990. At that time I was simply treated with Xanax for anxiety and talk therapy. Neither helped at all. I ended up hospitalized and still was treated with nothing but anti-anxiety drugs and talk therapy. I finally left my psychiatrist's care feeling disgusted. I also had read up in an old text about BPD and according to it had little to look forward to in life: chronic bouts of psychosis, hospitalizations, suicide attempts, manipulative behaviors, etc. I was terrified of myself and even more terrified to get "into the system" because of my past treatment (or lack thereof) and what I'd read. 

I decided that I would fight BPD with every ounce of my being and I began a very strict regimen of training myself to filter the BPD emotions from reality. This was not easy and took several years to accomplish but finally clicked. At about the same time that I felt I was under control 90% of the time I found MHSanctuary and read up on the latest treatment and research. I was fascinated to learn of the drug regimens used. 

After a brief episode two years ago (a matter of days) I began working with my family doctor instead of a psychiatrist using the drug regimens, especially Prozac. I have been very stable since that time and am now pursuing a degree in psychology with a view toward getting a masters in clinical counseling and a Ph.D. in Forensics. Previously I was a surgical nurse specializing in trauma. 

I am currently employed by a local company as an Internet sales manager and project/marketing coordinator. I am an ordained minister and have counseled couples and others especially those who are undergoing severe psychological stress. I also am gay and therefore very comfortable discussing the unique stresses of gay life and relationships with other BPD patients. My public email is [email protected]  

2) Hi! My name’s Brenda (aka seanchai). I’m 29 and I have been battling mental illness for as long as I can remember. As a child I tried telling my parents I was different but lacked the knowledge to communicate what I instinctively knew. 

I deal with anxiety and depression on a regular basis (both recurrent major depression and dysthymia which is a constant low grade depression); panic attacks are not uncommon for me. I am also in the beginning stages of overcoming binge eating disorder. My mother and sister both struggled with anorexia. 

In 1991 I was misdiagnosed with bipolar II disorder, as is somewhat common with people who have borderline personality disorder, which I was finally diagnosed with in 1999. When I was first diagnosed with bpd, I had absolutely no clue about what it was. No one seemed to be able to explain it to me or wanted me to know, I guess. I ended up doing research on my own. What I found out made so much sense to me. I finally understood why I did what I did, self-injury (si), and the several suicide (su) attempts that I have made. 

I have read quite a bit about anxiety, panic disorder, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, self-injury and bpd. I'm one of those bookworm types who actually enjoys research. I don't know all there is to know, at least not yet! :) But I’m still learning. 

I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. My father abandoned us when I was little. Even before then, I had severe abandonment issues. At the age of 4 I was sexually abused. My step-father was extremely emotionally/mentally abusive. My mom suffered from severe depression, which started long before I was born. My ex-husband was emotionally/mentally abusive as well as physically abusive. I had gone from the pot to the fire. My mother died in 1999 from breast cancer and never knew what it was like to not be depressed.

That was the year my world came crashing down. My ex-husband had an affair and then left me. My mom died. I lost my job. I had a bad injury. I lost my apartment. My car died. My divorce was finalized. All within a six month period. I was hospitalized for the first time in a psych hospital after this

I was fortunate in that I was able to go through a grief group, which helped me cope immensely with all of my losses.

Currently, I am on disability. I'm in DBT, dialectical behavior therapy - designed by Dr. Marsha Linehan specifically for borderline personality disorder. I've been in dbt for about a year. I want to make a difference for other people like me. This is something I am very passionate about.  You can email me at [email protected].