Q. Hello I am a Borderline. My emotions and sense of self switch constantly. I have been unable to make or achieve goals for myself. In addition to that I have Attention Deficit disorder, and very phobic I need help but my mind and personality and will switches so much at times I seem to be different ages, different people, I still have a sense of memory and each type of self has my name but they seem to have different ages and sexuality states and modes of being and the shifts happen so rapidly. My boyfriend keeps saying what are my goals in life, and all I am trying to do is get my mind to stay in one mood or mode all my life. I have been afraid to depend on myself. I was very dependent on Mom and at the age of 29 I am starting to break away; I have to consciously remind myself I am not child but an adult.

I feel as If I am not there most of the time like I am invisible. If I could have one normal day or be able to have the inner stability that others take so much for granted I would think I was richer than Donald Trump.

My first of two questions is: How do I develop, an ego a self, where I am not submerged into someone else and that I would stay the same no matter what any hints? I am under medication but this has not helped my intense fear of success, failure and living on my own alone it also hinders my ability to become a fully functioning adult what can I do?

  A. If you are on the right medication, the derealization/depersonalization should go away. You really need to get on a medication that works. The rest should be easier to deal with once you are stable. Read this site for medications and their dosing in the archives.