Q. I learn our daughter has BPD when she had a mental breakdown three months ago. She was hospitalize for five days. During her therapy she was told the disorder was the effect of her childhood. She became very angry at us and wanted no part in our lives. She stopped talking to us for three weeks and sent some very harsh e-mail's blaming us for everything. She called back and wants a superficial relationship because of the grandchildren. I am not sure how to communicate with her. I am not sure if I should stay away, when we talk she is happy and chatty as long as we only talk about the children and the house. She is becoming more receptive to my husband. I tried to ask her how she feels and she answered in a very mean and cold manner: "I don't need to talk to you about it, I already to talk to Dad." She has tried to commit suicide once last week and talked about it before her breakdown. I find myself thinking about it all the time and dealing with a lot of guilt feelings. I am so afraid for what might happen.

  A. While you or your husband probably passed on the genes for the illness, there is probably nothing you could have done to cause the disease by bad parenting. Heck, you may not even have passed on bad genes. It could be bad luck and a mutation in her. It was presumptive of anyone to tell her you caused the illness. Most likely it was a social worker or nurse or doctor that did a psych 101 course in college and is now an authority. Saying something like that to a patient, particularly one who is impressionable and ill (suicide attempt and hospitalization) is malpractice.