Q. . I was wondering if you could help me figure out what is wrong with someone that I care about. I don't know where to begin looking. This person is male 39 almost 40 married once in his early 20's for about 1 year. Recently we decided to try to have a baby. It has been successful and now every week he changes his mind on what to do. I know that he takes Vicodin, sleeping pills, and drinks every night. One day he'll be very positive about our future and then the next day he says that he loves me but he cannot live with me and the two children that I already have ages 8 and 6. He is anal retentive. Everything has to be in order and cleaned he can't stand it if anything is out of place. I know that growing up his mother was very hard on him. Recently I saw scares on his back that look like whip marks. He told me that it was from riding a bike through the trees. Which is not logical because if you where going that fast and hit a branch it would be on his chest and it wouldn't have even touched his back. He told me that in college if he received a C as a grade he would self punish himself by not having any fun. Very hard on himself. He saw a counselor for quite a few years but I'm not sure why. Does any of this fit a certain kind of ailment.

  A. It sounds as if something is going on, but there is not enough data to make a reasonable guess, let alone a diagnosis. Drinking and narcotics on a daily basis are bad. So are the mood swings. I would ask him what he was told was wrong in the past, and about any treatment received. If you are having a child with him, this is not asking for too much. Then, go from this information onward. If he refuses to answer, I would get out of the situation you are in.