Q. It seems that after 5 years of marriage and after reading your book, I do suspect that my husband suffers from borderline personality disorder. He was born here a child of holocaust survivors and English for me is a second language. I need help in finding a book that I can share with him so that he might understand that he needs help and then I am more than willing to be there for him. They say in some people there is a child but in his case he is a child in a body of 45 years old person.

A. Consider purchasing a book on depression, anxiety, or relationships. You may want to explain to him that you are concerned for him and your relationship and therefore you are doing some reading to try to understand better how you can help. You may want to gently bring up your concerns for him and how treatment for depression, anxiety, etc...has improved greatly over the past 3 decades and with these new treatments no one should have to feel so blue, sad, angry (choose the description that fits). Encouraging him to join you in seeking help would be the next step. Together pick out a mental health professional who suits your needs.