Q. I am a 46 year old female who has suffered most of my life from emptiness, not a part of any group or my family. My father was very abusive physically. My mother never rocks my dads boat so she is not supportive. I was abused by my uncle at a early age. I married the only boy I ever dated at the age of 18. Had my child at 25. The moment I learned I was pregnant I was so happy. When he was born however I felt lost, could not bond. Husband became very abusive, physically and sexually. I began to suffer from bulimia and depression. I attempted suicide at 25 and was committed to state hospital. I have since that time suffered from depression, bulimia, and severe disassociation. I have had nightmares almost all my life. My new doc says I have ptsd and bpd and has referred me for EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). The problem is the first session with EMDR I disassociated all day. Next day woke up rested and together. Last 3 nights have had drenching sweats and husband says I whimper like a puppy? I am so nervous and restless today I just had to reach out to someone. I am remarried to a good man but have not been able to have sex with him for years (9-10). Hate to be touched. Parents were told of abuse by uncle when I was younger but talking in my family is not allowed and they dismiss it. Not long ago my parents ask me to pray for my uncle because he is old now and ill. I told my mom good, maybe he suffer like he hurt others. She totally ignored my remark. I know I am rambling but I need advise. I just need to know if you think I am on the right track with the EMDR. My therapist says that if I break down the barriers that the PTSD have caused in my brain so I can then get the help I need.
A. First of all, I applaud you that you have continued to seek treatment and have taken emotional risks by entering into another relationship after your first marriage. Also for letting your parents know that you hold your uncle responsible even if they are unable/unwilling to do so. In the end, your strength and determination will help in successfully resolving your emotional difficulties.
In terms of your specific treatment (EMDR), while I have read a great deal about the method, I do not know of its effectiveness either positively or negatively. While there may be some research studies out there, I'm not aware of them so I do not feel qualified to comment on whether EMDR is the right choice for you. Often times, proceeding with a referral often comes down to the trust and confidence someone has in their doctor. If you have questions and concerns about your treatment, consult your doctor and the professional who is providing the EMDR.