Q. My sister has always been confident , but over the past few
years , she has seemed to develop an arrogant personality - she
thinks she is perfect and seems to have no conscience . She is
14 and has already been in trouble - for example was caught
several times shoplifting but has no regrets or feels no
guilt about doing it . This is just an example of how self
obsessed she has become .
Is this normal ? Could it be just a stage , or is she just a
self righteous arrogant type of person .
Please help me , she is driving everyone insane , and I fear
she will get deeper into trouble if she carries on the way
she is .
A. By your description it is hard to tell whether this is just a phase she is
going through (teenagers often believe they are infallible and smarter than
most adults) or if this is developing into a long term problem. You did not
indicate whether she has experienced any consequences for her behavior such
as detention time or community service. Some teenagers are shielded by
their family from any severe legal consequences and therefore have a harder
time associating consequences with their behavior. At any rate, it appears
that her stealing and sense of immunity from consequences is not an isolated
incident. Applying consequences and seeking therapy for her at this time
would seem to be the best strategy to prevent the development of future
narcissistic behavior.