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Understanding
the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense,
Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson
Ph. D.
"Dr.
Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from
borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder
in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety
of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline
parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.
Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that
include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and
the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this
complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's
recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of
the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground
them in reality and counteract the often dangerous effects of living
with a "make-believe" mother.
The
author identifies four separate composites or profiles for the different
kinds of borderline mothers; thereby being especially useful in
exploding the myth that all borderlines act and sound alike. Many
persons suffering from this ailment go undiagnosed because they
do not threaten suicide, or engage in otherwise self-destructive
behavior."
From
the Back Cover "Childhood lived with a borderline mother results
in
an unspeakable tragedy, few of the child's developmental needs are
met because the mother cannot be a parent. Consequently, the child
is
programmed for a lifelong struggle against failure. For over twenty
years, people have shared their own agonizing stories with me, looking
to my journey for a sense of hope. The compassionate understanding
and professional assistance in this book are a road map out of failure."
-Christina Crawford, M.A.
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
(This the only book written
of its kind that I am aware of, and it is not only very well written,
but I believe will help many families that are being hurt by borderline
behavior. This book will assist families in understanding their
loved one's behavior and thinking. It will help them understand
what is going on inside the borderline when sometimes all the family
can see is chaos. I believe this book will empower many families.
It is important to remember that borderlines are not bad people
and they (we) do not set out to hurt the very ones we love, but
rather their cognitive distortions and chaotic behavior of course
hurt those around them severely. This book should help you find
your way).
Dysinhibition
Syndrome: How to Handle Anger and Rage in Your Child or Spouse
(UK)
(DE)
by
Rose Wood (I strongly recommend this book for any family member
who is suffering from anger and rage from their loved one. It discusses
in great detail how to manage this behavior in yourself and in treatment
for the other person. There are not many books written for people
that suffer this kind of "intermittent explosive disorder" and this
book will help guide you). "Many people have problems with rage
and anger control. These are usually blamed on purely psychological
causes. This book shows that these problems are mostly biological
and common to many disorders. Wood presents many techniques for
controlling and living with them."
For
Mothers of Difficult Daughters; How to Enrich and Repair the Relationship
in Adulthood by Charney Herst (I recommend this book to any
mother who is having trouble with her relationship wither her adult
daughter. Though this book is not written specifically for daughters
who have the BPD, I highly recommend this book if you have a daughter
with the BPD. The author helps you to understand your relationship
with your grown daughter "untangling the complex web of personal
history and intense emotions inherent in any mother daughter relationship."
She then goes on to tell you ideas on how to heal your relationship).
Allies
in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused As a Child,
a Support Book by Laura Davis "(Filled with information, support,
and guidance, here is the eagerly awaited book that answers the
most important questions asked by partners of survivors of child
sexual abuse. Laura Davis, the coauthor of the bestselling The Courage
to Heal and author of The Courage to Heal Workbook, offers practical
advice, encouragement and much-needed support." "I read this book
when an ex-love told me he had been sexually abused as a child.
It was a revelation as to why our relationship had such strange
dynamics. The book clues you in on the effects of abuse, the healing
process and what to expect from your partner. If you are wondering
at all about the effects and consequences of childhood sexual abuse
READ THIS. The book is also quite good at addressing the abuse of
both men and women, making it useful for anyone in a relationship
with a survivor. VERY HONEST AND REVEALING READ)."
Codependent
No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
by Melody Beattie (I cannot emphasize enough how important this
book is. It is a classic! This book assisted me in getting out of
a bad relationship. This book helped me get my mind off of other
people and back onto myself and onto my own needs. I was not even
aware of what my needs where as I was so focused on others. If you
feel you are codependent in any way, without a doubt I recommend
this book highly. It will set you free to be yourself). A reader
from Beacon NY says "This book saved my sanity, my relationship,
maybe even my life. I was going through major upsets in my relationship
due to a partner's addiction. I was trying to "fix the world" one
painful day at a time. When nothing happened except for me to lose
hope, trust, faith and love, I turned to a friend for advice. She
recommended this book to me. I was skeptical to try yet another
DO IT YOURSELF book to fix what was wrong with me, but this one
opened my eyes. For the first time ever, I saw the patterns of my
actions leading me straight to heartache and frustration. The descriptions
were right on target, I saw myself in every list. It was scary,
yet encouraging, because I did not feel alone, nor did I feel I
was too far gone to be helped. This book will be a fixture on my
nightstand to get me through the weaker points in my life. Whenever
I need to take a reality check and think of ME instead of that other
person, I open the pages and let it heal me. Thank you, Ms. Beattie!"
