Borderline Personality Disorder Consumers Give  Advice to Other Consumers

Feel free to contribute to this section. You can send in your advice here with "BPD ADVICE" in the subject.

For many years I lived in my own special world. It was the only safe haven I ever had.

Unfortunately, I unwittingly cheated myself at the same time. Part of the problem was my inability to trust. If you can't rely on your parents for much of anything or at all, then you won't feel comfortable about trusting others. It's not that I haven't wanted to. But I found myself being let down time and again by each attempt I made to get close to someone.

Perhaps, I was so needy that I had unrealistic expectations of what any person could give to me. Is it fair to expect someone else to make up for all the needs that were never met? I don't think this kind of thinking is helpful for recovery.

The hard part is finding my own answers to this ongoing problem. One insight that I've had so far is that seeing life as all or nothing is totally senseless and keeps me from progressing to certain level on happiness and contentment that I wish to feel. The other insight that I have learned with the aide of my counselor, is that I often have this nasty little voice in my head that tells me this happiness I feel at the moment won't last. As if I don't deserve it. In other words, I am sabotaging my own chances for what I crave the most.

Despite all the hell I have endured, I am not giving up. Nor will I run away from these challenges that life presents me with. Someday, I will find a way to deal with all these problems as much as anyone can at any one time.

Perhaps the first goal to set is to have realistic and meaningful relationships with my own family. It has helped greatly to have a very special grandmother who'd listen to me and is supportive of me. She always encourages me not to give up. We have been close enough so that my grandmother has come to me for support when her troubles were great. In the past I would feel that I couldn't be of any help to anyone since I was so caught up in my own problems for so long.

I also have taken steps to get involved with church related activities which give me a healthier sense of self worth and the chance to have contact with others. From helping out in my son's school, I found I enjoy working with children. They are wonderful little people.

To sum up what seems to be helpful for me is: 

1. Being able to see things as not just black and white.
2. Having a certain amount of human contact. Learning they are dealing with the same everyday problems as I do from a parental perspective. 
3. Getting the kind of help I can only get from my counselor. That includes getting taking my medicine on a regular basis but at the same time accepting that medicine is only a small part of the answer. 
4. Keeping a regular routine but being flexible when needed is necessary.
5. Accepting that for know I am only capable of accomplishing so much. If I try to do too much, I will simply end up overwhelmed and depressed. Perhaps even become suicidal again. That is something I truly want to avoid. I have four young sons that mean a great deal to me.
6. Being able to realize that I have been given many blessings in life and to recall this in times of turmoil.
7. Accepting that I have a real problem that I can't fix alone and realizing that I am no less of a person because of it. I chose not to explain any of my personal experiences since it very similar to the others who have written. I hope that anyone who sees this, realizes that I have been there too and it is possible to overcome but it takes time. My struggles helps me to give old clich�d statements my own personal meaning. How many have heard the saying "Rome was not built in a day?" Its very annoying, but very true. I wish the best for all of you who are still struggling.