Borderline Personality Disorder Disorder: A Theory of it All

What went wrong? 

I would like to offer an explanation to other Borders to what has been going on. This explanation is based on theoretical ideas in reference to the basic symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). It has been to my benefit, having BPD myself, to research and understand the nature of what has been taking place. Thus, I write this in hope that with a little understanding your life will become easier.

The main factor that I have found in analyzing the underlying structures of BPD is the Pain. The pain or suffering is the ultimate cause for BPD breakdowns. Of course, breakdowns aren't a short-end of all ends-response; it is a long process, in which the world appears to be gradually falling inwards on the BPD. This appearance, perception or more likely a feeling is due to the fact that, during early years, the self never developed the ability to repress emotion-called "repression proper"- which is why the therapies for treating BPD are actually known as Structure building therapies. These structure building therapies help the self to contrast internal and external worlds and stabilize and build structure, versus the Uncovering therapies of the neurotic symptoms of repression which aim at relaxing the repression walls and reconnecting the impulses and emotions which have been repressed. Thus, one of the purposes of the Structure building therapies (e.g. Dialectal Behavior Treatment) is to get the persons with BPD "up to" a capacity for repression. In the first section, I intend to explain how the Structures of Consciousness, as illustrated by Ken Wilber, contribute to Borderline Personality Disorder. Next, I will describe the contrast and effects of natural human emotions, which are repressed. In order to take you into support for dealing with the pain, I finally would like to offer some advice for getting "up to" capacity for moving into the acceptance phase which acts like a psychological and emotional clots to allow you to flow with your whole self. [Note: this advice is from a person with BPD, and not the advice of a physician.]

I. Structures of consciousness
Ken Wilber defines the self-development stages as structures of consciousness in which he illustrates the by using the metaphor of a ladder (basic structure), Fulcrums (steps on the latter as the individual stage), and View (how we see the world during each stage). See as below:

Ladder Climber Self-needs Self-sense World View

Sensoriphysical F-1 physiological autistic/symbiotic magic wish
Phantasmic-emotional F-2 beginning impulsive na�ve hedonism
Rep-mind F-3 safety impulsive/self-protective approval of others 
Rule/role mind F-4 belongingness conformist/conscientous conformist law/order
Formal Reflexive F-5 self-esteem conscientious/individualistic individual rights
Vision-logic F-6 self-actualization autonomous/integrated individual principles
Plus 3 others not stated

Upon development the self climbs the latter, beginning with Fulcrum 1 (F-1). With each step or F-1 there must be a 1-2-3 structure. One, the self evolves or develops, stepping up to a new level and identifies with that level. Two, the self begins movement beyond that level-called differentiation or disidentification. Three, the self identifies with a new and higher fulcrum and centers itself there. Thus, it is Identify, Dis-identify and Integrate. If , however, something goes wrong in one of the individuals stages or fulcrums, pathology results; usually, the lower the fulcrum, the more severe the pathology. The following is Ken Wilber's example of the the development of Borderline Trauma which begins in fulcrum-2:

Suppose the infant has completed Fulcrum-1, "but still has not yet established the boundaries of its emotional self. So it can differentiate its physical self from the physical environment, but it still cannot differentiate its emotional self from the emotional environment. And this means that its emotional self is identified with those around it, particularly the mother. (This is the initial Identification phase of Fulcrum-2.)

The self at this stage cannot differentiate itself from the emotional and vital world around it, the infant self treats the world as and extension of itself-which is the technical meaning of "narcissism." So this type of severe Narcissism-which is normal, not pathological, at this stage-does not mean that the infant thinks selfishly about only itself, but on the contrary, it is incapable of thinking about itself. It is unable to differentiate itself from the world , the emotional world, and so it thinks what it is feeling the world is feeling, what it wants the world wants, what it sees it is what the world sees."

At the beginning of the Fulcrum-2 stage the infant doesn't have any emotional boundaries. Normally, however around 15-24 months, the emotional self begins to differentiate itself from the emotional environment. (The self has moved from the initial Identity phase of Fulcrum-2 to the middle or Dis-identification phase.) The infant starts to wake up to a separate self, existing in a separate world. It has hits the terrible twos. So, what happened with Borderlines in Fulcrum-2? 

" . . . the self either remains in identity at this emotionally narcissistic stage (the so-called narcissistic personality disorder), or the dis-identification process begins but is not resolved and there is some sort of dissociation (the so-called borderline disorders). In either case, there are no realistic emotional boundaries to the self. In the narcissistic and borderline syndromes, the individual therefore lacks a sense of cohesive self, and this is perhaps the central defining characteristic of these pathologies. The self either treats the world as an extension of itself (narcissistic), or is constantly invaded and tortured by the world (borderline)."

In summary, as Wilber explains the stages of development as a fulcrum on a ladder, the self is the conscious being in which must pass through these fulcrums. When the person with BPD passed through fulcrum-2, part of the self became cut off, similarly to losing an arm or leg. That part of the self remains in the Fulcrum, thus in the same worldview while the rest of the self continues onward through the other fulcrums. So, We persons with BPD passed through all other fulcrums above Fulcrum-2, making it quite possible to be intelligent, creative, intuitive, etc. However, stuck in fulcrum-2 is the false self.

"Once this accident occurs-once we get a subphase malformation at any level-then this pathology forms a lesion in consciousness that tends to infect and distort all subsequent development. There are now aspects of the self's being that it doesn't own or admit or acknowledge. It starts to hide from itself. In other words, the self begins lying to itself. A false self-system begins to grow over the actual self, the self that is really there at any given moment, but is now denied or distorted or repressed. Repression, basically, is being untruthful about what is actually running around in your psyche. Thus, the personal unconscious begins its career. Aspects of awareness are split off-"little blobs", little selves, little subjects, are forced into the subterranean dark. These little blobs remain at the level of development they had when they were split off and denied. They cease to grow. They remain in Identity with the level where they were repressed. So aspects of your potential, sealed off by the dissociation, begin eating up your energy. They are a drain. The false self-at whatever level-might simply remain in charge for a lifetime, as the individual limps through a life of internal insincerity. More than not, however, the false self will at some point collapse under its own suffocating weight-there is a "breakdown" -and the individual is then faced with several choices: rest and recover and then resume the same false self trajectory; temporarily drug the dilemma out of awareness; behaviorally reinforce actions that avoid the problem; or take up an investigation into the life of the lie, usually with a therapist who will help you interpret your interior intentions more truthfully."

Commonly referred, this false self can be described as the underlying context of FEAR: false evidence appearing real. This fear can be associated to the fear of abandonment, eventually leading to associated paranoid tendencies involving interpersonal relationships. Thus, if untreated or dealt with can falter any other developments along the fulcrum as well. In retrospect, I have illustrated these basic fundamentals within these borderline symptoms: 

1)* Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

"Since the center of gravity of the self is at a preconvential, impulsive stage in fulcrum-2, then aspects that impulsive self can be split off or dissociated. If this dissociation is extremely severe, then self-development will come to a screeching halt. But more often than not, the self will simply limp along down the road, dissociation and all. It will continue to develop, it will continue to climb the basic structures in expanding awareness, however haltingly or however wounded. But an aspect of the impulsive self has nonetheless been split off and dissociated. That split-off aspect does not climb or continue to grow and develop. It remains at a moral stage 2, even as the rest of the self grows and develops. So this split-off aspect is altogether impulsive."

2) *Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

"The differentiation, or dis-identification process began in fulcrum-2, but is not resolved with the final phase integration and there is some sort of dissociation because the structures 1-2-3 were not complete."

3) *Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.  *Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) 
"There are no realistic emotional boundaries to the self. In the narcissistic and borderline syndromes, the individual therefore lacks a sense of cohesive self . . ."

4) *Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

"The self either treats the world as an extension of itself (narcissistic), or is constantly invaded and tortured by the world (borderline)."

5) A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

"Typical fulcrum-2 defense mechanisms include splitting and Identifying (identifying of self and object representations and a splitting of all-good and all-bad objects)."

6) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5. Related to the World View-Magic- in which is perceived in fulcrum-2!
"As images and symbols begin to emerge, around the time of fulcrum-2, these early images and symbols are not differentiated clearly from the objects they represent. Thus, it seems that to manipulate the image is to actually change the object. The child lives in this world of magical displacement and condensation. Likewise, because self and other are not well dis-identified, the child populates its world with objects that have mental characteristics-the magical worldview is animistic. It's very crude and very egocentric. The clouds move because they are following you, they want to see you. It rains because the sky wants to wash you off. It thunders because the sky is angry at you personally. Mind and world (others also) are not clearly dis-identified, so their characteristics ten to get fused and confused, "magically". Inside and outside are both egocentric, narcissistic."
Fulcrum-2 Worldview= impulse + sensation + images + symbols

7) *Chronic feelings of emptiness
* Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior 
These can be due to the overall pain and confusion, and depression, which have been triggered by the symptoms in the Borderline Personality Disorder.