Q. My daughter exhibits many symptoms of borderline personality. Having a six month old daughter she has just left a conflicted relationship and is not working. She has moved back to this town. The stress has created conflict between she and me and she seems to have returned to anger and resentment under stress to a state she was in at the age of 14. I can no longer cope well with the verbal abuse and innuendo and do not agree with most of her decisions. I have been her only constant supporter - I think! - over the years but I don't know what to do to support her and save myself and my partner who has had 2 heart attacks. She moved home for 4 months last Spring and I developed anxiety attacks.

 A. It sounds from your description that things cannot continue this way much longer given your anxiety attacks and your partner's health. It appears that it is time to set limits on her behavior, what she says, and how she conducts herself around your house. You will likely need to sit down with her and explain exactly how you feel when she behaves/acts in certain ways. Explain the effects on yourself and your relationship with her and your relationship with your partner. Make it clear that you can remain supportive of her, can help her if you can, but that you can no longer accept nor tolerate the behaviors in question. You may need to decide whether she can remain living with if she chooses not to accept or abide by your limits. Try to remember that limit setting often can be disruptive to the relationship at first, but over time, can provide the structure and support that both of you may need to develop and improve upon your relationship with each other.

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