Q. My boyfriend is 29 and has strong fluctuations in weight, goes from 120 pounds to 135 pounds. He says he goes from thin to "fat" and back, which frightens me, as he is nowhere near fat when he is at his highest weight. He seems to have some issues with food/eating that point towards an eating disorder, but at the same time he also has regular fluctuations in his mood which relate to his mood swings, when he is eating very few and losing weight (although he claims he is not on a diet, but he just cuts back on eating) he is normally happy and relaxed, and when he is eating a lot (sometimes bingeing) he gets first aggressive and then depressed.

It is like living with two different people, he is either loving and huggy or aggressive and cold. I sometimes feel like just leaving him, but I realized that there must be a deeper reason for his behavior!

I think he could have bipolar or cyclomyhia, and I think he knows about it, but he refuses to talk about it.

I also know that medication for this can cause weight gain, and as he sometimes (even though he often claims he doesn't care about his weight) seems to be scared of getting "fat" I think he would not want to go in treatment for it.

Is there any other method of treating this?

He might even have been on medication before, as a year before we met he was nearly chubby (maybe 145 pounds), which I don't understand as he claims to have a really fast metabolism. I tried to talk to him about it, but he refuses to talk about it. He hates talking about his past, especially concerning his physical and mental health, and I don't know how to approach him!

  A. If you are serious about this man, and he refuses to discuss his mental health issues with you, that is not good. I cannot make a diagnosis, nor even know if he even has a problem. He needs to see someone, and perhaps his general practitioner is a good place to start. If you and he are serious/considering staying together/marrying, you should be allowed to accompany him.