Bipolar Disorder Today Email Volunteers

Self-help is useful, but it is not a substitute for professional assistance. Emotional and behavioral problems can be debilitating and dangerous.

Please seek professional help:

if you have thoughts of killing yourself or harming others;
if you feel depressed, anxious, guilty or down on yourself frequently;
if you are abusing substances;
if your performance or interpersonal relationships are impaired.

"Our purpose is to give information. We cannot, and are not, assuming the role of your physician or therapist in any of our replies.

We also do not know your other medical problems and psychiatric diagnoses, which usually have a dramatic effect on medication (and other treatment) recommendations. You must make a medical and treatment plan with your physician and therapist(s)."

Volunteers

1) Hi! My name’s Brenda (aka seanchai). I’m 29 and I have been battling mental illness for as long as I can remember. As a child I tried telling my parents I was different but lacked the knowledge to communicate what I instinctively knew.

I deal with anxiety and depression on a regular basis (both recurrent major depression and dysthymia which is a constant low grade depression); panic attacks are not uncommon for me. I am also in the beginning stages of overcoming binge eating disorder. My mother and sister both struggled with anorexia.

In 1991 I was misdiagnosed with bipolar II disorder, as is somewhat common with people who have borderline personality disorder, which I was finally diagnosed with in 1999. When I was first diagnosed with bpd, I had absolutely no clue about what it was. No one seemed to be able to explain it to me or wanted me to know, I guess. I ended up doing research on my own. What I found out made so much sense to me. I finally understood why I did what I did, self-injury (si), and the several suicide (su) attempts that I have made.

I have read quite a bit about anxiety, panic disorder, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, self-injury and bpd. I'm one of those bookworm types who actually enjoys research. I don't know all there is to know, at least not yet! :) But I’m still learning.

I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. My father abandoned us when I was little. Even before then, I had severe abandonment issues. At the age of 4 I was sexually abused. My step-father was extremely emotionally/mentally abusive. My mom suffered from severe depression, which started long before I was born. My ex-husband was emotionally/mentally abusive as well as physically abusive. I had gone from the pot to the fire. My mother died in 1999 from breast cancer and never knew what it was like to not be depressed.

That was the year my world came crashing down. My ex-husband had an affair and then left me. My mom died. I lost my job. I had a bad injury. I lost my apartment. My car died. My divorce was finalized. All within a six month period. I was hospitalized for the first time in a psych hospital after this

I was fortunate in that I was able to go through a grief group, which helped me cope immensely with all of my losses.

Currently, I am on disability. I'm in DBT, dialectical behavior therapy - designed by Dr. Marsha Linehan specifically for borderline personality disorder. I've been in dbt for about a year. I want to make a difference for other people like me. This is something I am very passionate about. You can email me at [email protected].

2) Hi, My name is Terri and i am a 41 year old female who has been through the rampant of the mental health illnesses. I live in Ohio, and have a house filled with animals, to me they are good therapy, and i also have a very supportive husband. My illness have consisted of Major Depression, panic disorder, anorexia, OCD, which is under control for about 10 years now, Schizoaffective bipolar and alcoholism. I was once misdiagnosed as borderline personality disorder, i had a bad experience with that diagnosis, a misinformed doctor.

At this point in my life i battle mainly with the schizoaffective bipolar and also PTSD from childhood abuse, which i forgot to add, sorry. I have been managing my panic disorder and am not longer practicing any anorexic behavior in 15 years. One thing i have been doing for a long time is researching all of these mental illnesses and others to find out as much as i can to help myself and keep up on new treatments. I have spent time in the hospitals, mainly the Veterans Administration hospital, I was in the Air Force for 6 years where I began to drink heavily to cover up the depression and anxiety i was feeling. I have also been going to college for a long time studying social work and psychology and am at a senior level but the courses don't go towards one degree and i do not have the money to finish. Someday i know i will.

At one point in time i was a drug/alcohol counselor in the military, if you can believe it and a peer counselor when i got out. By the way i no longer drink for a number of years. It was strange, but once i finally got the right treatment i just quit drinking, i never tried to quit, it just happened, and now the smell of it makes me sick. I am here to answer the questions i can, and if i don't know i will try and find them for you, or if you just want to chat about an mental health issue also.

We all need to become knowledgeable of mental health issues so society will hopefully someday remove the stigma that still exists. With that have a good day. [email protected]

3) My name is Rachael and I am a 34 year old married woman. We don't have children, but we have a cat named Isaac. I work as a grant writer/fund developer at a substance abuse agency.

I am diagnosed with PTSD, Bi-polar II, EDNOS, and Personality Disorder NOS. I have been hospitalized five times, and have been on a host of medications to try and stabilize me. I have tried DBT (bad experience) and a Women's Trauma group (good experience), in addition to twice weekly talk therapy.

On PTSD: About 9 years ago, my husband and I were attacked in our bedroom by an intruder. We were both stabbed multiple times and hospitalized for several days. After the hospitalization, we spent a month recovering in my parents house. We then returned to NYC to try and live and work again. It didn't work. Although we moved to a different apartment (one with a door man), my husband slept with a baseball bat and I had to tour the entire apartment when I would come in to make certain no one was there. Eventually, I got fired from my job because I just couldn't concentrate on it anymore. We next moved to Vermont and took whatever jobs came along to try and forget.

A few years later, we moved to New Haven, CT as my husband was accepted at Yale Divinity School. My PTSD symptoms had mostly disappeared. Then they came back with a vengeance. I wanted to die. I wanted to kill someone. I spent a lot of time drinking. A friend recommended a therapist who specialized in PTSD and I made an appointment. I have been working with her ever since. In our last session, we talked about the stabbing, how I locked my self out of the apartment as I went to get help from the neighbors, as my husband struggled with the intruder, alone. It is the one thing I will never be able to forgive myself for doing. It's the one thing that probably prevents me from moving on.

Bi-polar: As my PTSD symptoms raged, I was referred to a psychiatrist for meds. We started with all the usual. An anti-depressant (Paxil) which I hated, then Trazadone, which was okay except for the thirst. Then, I went on a spending spree, became hypomanic. Was diagnosed BP II, given depakote. In between, I got addicted to Klonopin, smashed my car up because I fell asleep on the highway on the way to Law School. I also fell asleep in therapy, was taken to the hospital, and then institutionalized for a few days as I slept off the Klonopin.

I am a rapid cycler, and my moods are mostly down. I had a psychotic episode and was "papered" and put on zyprexa. I gained lots of weight. I have been hospitalized five times. Twice by my own doing with my therapist for suicidal ideations and three times -- Klonopin, Psychotic episode, Suicide attempt (lithium overdose) against my will.

Now, I take Effexor, Lithium, Klonopin, Sonata, and Synthroid for my underactive thyroid.

Eating Disorder: Two years ago, I was diagnosed with EDNOS when I stopped eating and got down to 110 pounds. That incident may have precipitated the psychotic episode (my therapist would say yes, I don't think so). The Zyprexa made me gain back the weight I lost and then some. I was seen by a counselor at the Yale Center for Eating and Weight Disorders, and later a nutritionist.

Today, I eat less than 1000 calories a day. I am back at the Eating Disorder Clinic. Because my metabolism is all screwed up, I have lost much weight. I am in starvation mode, and my excessive exercise doesn't seem to be helping me lose weight, either.

I am fortunate to have a supportive and loving husband and family. I have a supportive work environment. I have a fabulous psychologist, a great psychiatrist, an interesting eating disorder therapist, a great nutritionist. Somehow, I have managed to put together a great treatment team.

I struggle with my illness everyday, but with self education, therapy, medications, and the support of a loving husband and family, I manage to get up everyday and go to work. Write me and I'll respond as fast as I can.
EMAIL me at: [email protected] Thanks