Q. Dear Mr. Mason, I am a 33 yr old woman who strongly suspects that she is Borderline. I have a history of self abuse, suicide attempts and ideation, unstable relationships, self destructive behavior, severe fear of abandonment, impulsivity, addictive behaviors (have done alcohol, food, sex) depression, low stress tolerance, dependency, anger, extreme self image problems including feeling inferior to others, emptiness, and on and on. I read like a textbook. I have read a lot about BPD and am at a point where I am not sure I can live with this. I hurt everybody. I say and do things that embarrass me so bad but I can't stop. I was molested and raped (two different people) at the ages of 11 and 12. I can remember feeling a lot of this before this however. I don't have money for help and I know that I need it. What can I do?

A. Depending on where you live there usually is a community-based treatment center or united way funded treatment agency that can help at little or no fee. From your description, your past history is likely contributing significantly with your current relationships. Physical and sexual abuse can have devastating effects on people's ability to trust, feel safe in relationships, get intimate both emotionally and physically, to name just a few things. You possess insight and knowledge about how your behavior effects you as well as others you come in contact with. This alone increases your chances of a successful outcome through therapy and recovery.

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