Q. I have recently separated from my ex-fianc�e and have just learned that she has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I have witnessed, firsthand, how this disorder affects her as well as others involved, including myself. However, my real concern is for my 7 week old son (whom I have not seen yet against my will). My question to you is in regards to his mental health through the course of his childhood and leading up to adulthood. How will her disorder affect him? Is it possible for him to "get" BPD or other related disorders from their interaction? As the other parent, how important is my role? What can I do to intervene? If you have stats/data that would be helpful.

A. Research has not proven that borderline personality disorder is hereditary in the sense that bpd can be passed down through genetics. However, genetics and hereditary do seem to be at play when it comes to developing some types of depression, mood disorders, and anxiety disorders. To what extent is unknown. As a concerned parent, you can help decrease the probability of your child developing mental disorders by providing your child "corrective experiences." Simply put, corrective experiences are experiences you provide your child that help him/her cope with or understand the confusing or perplexing behaviors, interactions, or actions by the parent with the mental health disorder. Many children who grow up with a mentally challenged parent come to believe that "all adults act like that" or "that is how adults treat (mistreat) children". Sometimes, they grow to believe that their feelings are "wrong" and they "shouldn't ever share their thoughts or feelings". Children need corrective experiences wherein they learn from other concerned adults that emotional expression is healthy, that children shouldn't be mistreated, and that there are adults in the world who aren't "just like my dad (mom)". Helping the child understand their parent's illness is also very important. Explain the illness and how it likely is effecting the other parent. Try not to blame the parent for the illness, but rather explain that the illness makes it hard for the parent to always do the best thing for their child. The goal is to increase understanding, not to get the child to choose one parent over the next.

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