Q. My sister has always been confident , but over the past few years , she has seemed to develop an arrogant personality - she thinks she is perfect and seems to have no conscience . She is 14 and has already been in trouble - for example was caught several times shoplifting but has no regrets or feels no guilt about doing it . This is just an example of how self obsessed she has become . Is this normal? Could it be just a stage , or is she just a self righteous arrogant type of person .

Please help me , she is driving everyone insane , and I fear she will get deeper into trouble if she carries on the way she is .

 

A. By your description it is hard to tell whether this is just a phase she is going through (teenagers often believe they are infallible and smarter than most adults) or if this is developing into a long term problem. You did not indicate whether she has experienced any consequences for her behavior such as detention time or community service. Some teenagers are shielded by their family from any severe legal consequences and therefore have a harder time associating consequences with their behavior. At any rate, it appears that her stealing and sense of immunity from consequences is not an isolated incident. Applying consequences and seeking therapy for her at this time would seem to be the best strategy to prevent the development of future narcissistic behavior.

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