Q. My husband of 18 years has been diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) for 4 years now. He washed the cars every weekend (in spring and summer), he re-washed the table after I already did it, he must wash the floors on Tuesdays only. I know this is OCD, but.... He is so mean and yells over nothing ... he's always yelling at our 12 and 16 year old for--push your chair in (even when they are going right back to the table), put your books and papers away, he is very sarcastic telling the kids, "oh you know your mother is always right." When people are over or when over at friends houses he tries to be nice. Always talking to everyone and talking to me and our children (only when he must talk to us) other times he avoids us and will get up and move to talk to other people. He also does strange actions: He did a medium load of laundry with 2 pair of his boxer shorts only. When I asked him why, he said," less for you to do". He only had 2 items in the washing machine!!!!

He'll repeat himself when talking to someone on the phone, but when I do it to make a point as I'm talking to our children about something he'll yell, "stop repeating" or say something sarcastic. We have no family memories only of him yelling and I raising our two children. He doesn't get along at all with his 1 1'2 year older brother who leaves in another state. He never does anything for fun. Everyone tells me "you and your husband are total opposites". I hate when he's home--you can feel the tension. Even our children act negatively when he's home. Mostly I try to ignore him but my life is lonely. Please respond. He taking BuSpar and refuses counseling as he says, "nothing is wrong with me--its you."

 

 A. Sorry but I do not have as much experience with OCD as I do with BPD. The two disorders are very different in that OCD is an Anxiety Disorder that centers around doing things or saying things repetitively for the purpose of relieving anxiety or worry. BPD is a much more complex personality disorder. However, what is important to remember about OCD is that one of the main issues for many people with OCD is control. Both personal control and control over other people and things. Being angry, demanding, and hostile are ways in which some people seek to control others. Medications are usually not as effective for managing and controlling OCD as is a combination of medications and counseling. If the latter is missing in his treatment, then I would highly recommend that you speak with your husband and his prescribing physician about a referral for counseling.

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