Story #13

I am 15 years old and have just been diagnosed with BPD. I live in constant pain, pushing family, friends, and loved ones away.

I have attempted suicide twice. Its frightening when you are young and don’t understand why you trash your room over some trivial argument or purposely harm people for no reason. I understand now why I did these things, but my boyfriend and parents didn’t understand before I was diagnosed.

I use to love saying cruel things to people, but afterwards I felt horrible about it. I dropped out of school in 9^th grade, I smoke cigarettes, and I had a serious addictive personality. I was smoking marijuana every day for at least 6 months to escape from reality. Now that I have been diagnosed with BPD, I can see that there is a reason for all this. I can see that my reactions to minor events aren’t because I am insane, it is just because I have a chemical imbalance that will be fixed with the proper medications. I encourage all those who have been diagnosed with BPD not to be afraid of it. 10-14% of people have this disorder, and it doesn’t make you any less normal than the 90% that don’t have it.

BP’s are just like everyone else, and with the proper medications, we are able to control our mood swings and lead a healthy life and   healthy relationships. Just remember that there are people out there with the same condition as you, and with the proper medications and help, the emotional scars will fade.