Story #16

struggling with life and death as we speak...am 26 year old female...i was recently diagnosed with borderline....and as i read these stories.......i can relate to these feelings....the rage, the hurt, the pain, etc........Feeling no one understands me.......i have no family......and 9 months ago I ended a relationship with a man..i thought wanted to marry me ....we were together almost 6 years....he would constantly make up excuses....finish college....then we’ll live together..he complained about my job, my friends, basically me. i could go on and---my depression had hit me months before i had initially broke up with him........crying all the time, couldn’t concentrate in school, stopped caring about life in general......i went from a 3.83 g.p.a.----to barely passing.....i walked my self in the E.ROOM....after seeking advice from a friends mom......oh ya and drinking varnish remover the week before......since have been hospitalized to a respite program...then sectioned twelved to a psyche unit. then back to the respite program....i have since been struggling 3 months with life now......this is going on my 7th day of being out of the hospital environment.. which i absolutely hated other than the meds i am on now-----which eventually will be changed because of this disorder...i am living in a not so good situation with three others (roommates)....who yes party a lot.....am still out of work barely making it by financially....still sad, depressed, and lonely.....that’s all i would like to share for now.....hopefully will be able to write back soon....when i can handle these emotions better.....thank you for the opportunity to let me share...i actually have to call to check in with crisis team at this moment---that i am still involved with...if not they will be out looking for me....until the dbt program they would like to get me in (3-4 weeks)....i still don’t feel 100% safe....pretending to the few friends i have left at this point.....trying to function day by day....it sucks to feel this way....thank you......for letting me vent....."The Ventor"